Why I don’t follow the rede

I’ve been told a few times that I’m an affront to pagans because I don’t follow the Rede.
I used to think it was just newbies, but then I learned that it was also coming from “well seasoned” pagans from various paths and witches who haven’t learned to differentiate between and Wiccan practices that a witch chooses to use and Wicca.

Well excuse me, but first and foremost the Rede is call the Wiccan Rede in its entirety,  and I am not Wiccan. I don’t feel bound to follow the Rede, just because there are some things in Wicca I’ve found useful in my studies.

I prefer to use common sense, and to follow my path as I am led; as well as what I discover when new aspects about myself and the beliefs I harbor within me are revealed. I set to explore things and attempt to break past what is narrowly defined by organized religion and dogma.

So rather than follow the Rede, I strive to look at my actions and ask “is the negative impact that most likely will occur, even if I don’t experience it myself, worth it” and if I do experience it “can I handle the perceived consequences”.

Its all cause and effect.

Personally, I view the Rede as another piece of religious dogma. I feel that in many ways that it is less about the people who are practicing Wicca and more about protecting the religion in some ways.

The Rede itself is one of the many reason I decided Wicca was not for me. Artemis tried.

Lol, you guys really should be around when my spirit guide and I discuss the events of my life.

I may later talk about everything in the Rede, that does not resonate with me, but for now I’ll focus on the one part that I really disliked.

The part commonly referenced is ” An ye harm none, do what ye will.”

Basically dont do anything that can harm anyone, and no one cares what you do.

Well I look at it this way. Energy is not an infinite source. It exist, it can not be destroyed or created. It can be transformed and reused.

If you are directing energy in any way, you are taking from someone, and that can cause harm. Even the tiniest spell that seemingly does not  have a negative affect, can in fact have a type of negative impact.

It’s simply a matter of how you look at things. I view everything as connected, so it’s easy for me to see how it works.

We are multiple networks creating a tangled web which is the universe.

Now I have no problem with people using the Rede themselves. Its a pretty good general guideline for those that feel they need it, especially newly converted ones or those starting their journey.

I view the Rede ultimately the same way as I view the bible. Useful to those that believe it’s more than worlds, so good for them. It doesn’t benefit me in any way.

My biggest problem with the discussion about the Rede, is those feel you must have a book or written document that outlines morals and such. When I hear from Pagans, it actually makes my skin crawl.

Remember you don’t need anything written or anything taught to be able to determine right from wrong or have a moral compass.

So is not following the Rede really so bad?


Love and Light


The diversity of my path

The ten years I’ve been practicing and studying have lead me to many interesting topics that have resonated  on a soul level with me.   My path has grown to incorporate some of the practices from Afican based religions, models of Helenic practice, and reconstructions of the ancient Celts.

I suppose since I know nothing of my ancestry other than at least one part of my family came to America as slaves, I had been, searching for my path, but never found it. I thought in my ignorance of what paganism is, that it would be found in Wicca, but that religion held no appeal to me, other than its helping me to transition my thinking away from my Christian upbringing, as well as having a general structure that help me understand concepts that I have since seen reflected in other practices. This is not to say I think poorly of Wicca, as I do have some practices in Wicca that I still see useful in my physical representation of spirituality thought;its just that it wasn’t for me.

I’ve determined that my spirituality is characterized by appreciation of the earth. I attempt to understand it and respect it in ways similar to the ways our ancestors would have as they lived off of the earth, it whatever way I can find applicable in our modern times.

I endeavor to respect and understand all religions, especially those whose practice, or part of its practice, reasonate with me, by studying it.

Perhaps this is why Celtic paganism has connected with me on such a deep level. Celtic culture has been of interest to me since I was a young child. Celtic paganism itself was a concept I stumbled upon in year one of my studies.

Its been sixteen years since I recognized I beliefs were different from my family. -Its still amazes me that I understood the power and draw of nature that young and remember it vividly.- Eleven years since I discovered what that meant. Five years since I truly accepted that it was ok to be different and be myself without letting fear guide me.

This journey has been beautiful.

Podcast share: Spiritual Focus vs. Large Distractions

Spiritual Focus vs. Large Distractions

Welcome back to the show ! In this episode Foxfire and Arrowind talk about how it’s hard to keep the various meanings of the season during these times of consant inundation by large distractions. T…

Subscribe the podcast http://paganparentsote.podbean.com/feed/

Sent from Podcast Republic 2.5.7

Our Partner Died.

I’ve failed to keep my blogging goals so far this year.

Our lives were completely derailed by the fact that our life partner was killed in a hit and run accident about a week ago.

Because she was 1) in college, 2) still a dependent of her parents because they were paying for college and 3) not out to her parents about poly, we’ve been forced to pretend like she wasn’t anything more than a roommate, to most people.

It sucks, it hurts, but we have to respect that she wasn’t ready.

I’ll be posting a few thing that have to do with ancestors and the death of a family members soon, as we process and decide how to honor her as a part of our family.

I am an eclectic.

I don’t follow religion. I believe in doing whatever you need to find your spirituality and connection with the universe.

Some people find it in religion; some find the dogma to rigid and stifling.

(Please remember the definition of dogma.
1. a system of principles or
tenets, as of a church.
2. a specific tenet or doctrine
authoritatively put forth, as by a
3. prescribed doctrine: political
4. an established belief or
This still happens in paganism)

Some of us are freer spirits, still.

I do what I feel guided to do and often what I’m drawn to transcends many different religions. I seek understanding and I’m still a long way off. I don’t go with things just because that’s how it is or has been, definitely not because it’s the norm.

I am an eclectic pagan.

:one who uses a method or approach that is composed of elements drawn from various sources :one who uses an eclectic method or approach

: including things taken from many different sources
Full Definition
1 :selecting what appears to be best in various doctrines, methods, or styles
2 :composed of elements drawn from various sources; also :heterogeneous

As I’m drawn to things I study them to find how they fit – why they resonate with me. If you’ve followed my blogs or have known me for a while, you’ll note that things have changed over time. Things often change except my very core values as I find my deeper truths.

I come to my own understandings about the world and spirituality. Then I compare them to what science and such tell us. For the most part my beliefs usually overlap with science.

Sometimes, it takes me longer to do research and gain understanding than I would like. That is usually when I don’t claim something as a belief but rather an interesting concept.

It’s just who I am. I question everything.  As a submissive in a D/s relationship, that cam get you in trouble sometimes lol. I just have this inane need to understand things.

This post was inspired by my reflections over one of the Pagan Musing Podcast shows. I love them. I don’t always agree, but I enjoy most shows.


Why I don’t celebrate Christmas.

This will be brief because for me it is a matter of respect. Its past the holiday, so I feel its fine to post without ruining it for those that enjoy it.
If you are a pagan who has been studying for any length of time, you probably have run across the pagan origins of most holidays ( so you won’t mind if I don’t elaborate). If you aren’t familiar with it please take time to look it up.

To me having my own set of holidays that revolve around the things that are important to me, is perfect.

“But its a great time to spend time with family?”

None of my blood family celebrates holidays any longer. Even if they did I wouldn’t waste time going to see them for the Holiday, if it can be helped. My chosen family and poly partners are pagan or pagan supporting. They celebrate the sabbaths, so I have plenty time to spend with them.

Most important to me though is that I still respect the fact that some people do celebrate it as a religious holiday, whether they know the facts or not. They have Christmas to celebrate their beliefs and family. I have Yule, I don’t need both.

I’m not comfortable celebrating it. I won’t really be ok living in a house where it celebrated. In my perspective, there are plenty family and friends that are interested in it for me to not be forced into dealing with it.

I don’t celebrate any other religions holidays, so why should I celebrate Christmas just because its been secularized.

I see no place for it in my life as a pagan, because like it or not, Christmas has been celebrated as a religious holiday for a while. I respect that. I also respect other people right to celebrate the secularized holiday as long as they aren’t trying to force it on me.


Much needed disclaimer for the ignoramuses.

As much as people love to blame my upbringing as a Jehovah’s witness for my disdain for many holidays, I would like to point out that it shows a few things. 1) That you blatantly ignore experiences I’ve had and shared with you, 2) you are forcing the idea that all holidays have to be religious based – whether you believe that ideology or not, 3) that your fun is more important than something that is a belief of others.

My decisions regarding my discomfort in celebrating Christmas is something I’ve made after years of soul-searching. Your need to sum it up to an explanation that works for you is at the very least disrespectful. For some people these things may be reason why we are not close as we once were, we aren’t really moving forward or that I don’t give you a place in my lie at all.

Traditions of others do not have a place in my deciding what I feel is right or wrong for me participating in. If it does not resonate with e, I will not do it. It’s that simple. You may do as you wish. I have no desire t tel you how you should feel or do. I can only dictate what I will do. If you feel that my expression of my opinion is so harmful to your practice or desires, please examine your own faith and reason for doing what you do.

Coming to terms with your Dark.

About 5 years ago, I sat at the foot of my twin bed, in my shared first apartment at university.

The set up was so that the desk was agiants the wall, being used as an altar, the foot of the bed was against deal so that my head would ‘ve by the windows for people watching. On the desk I had 8 tealight candles surrounding a medium sized wooden serving tray, full of pebbles, sand and rose petals.

It was a very simple set up that was easy to take down and hide in the back of the desk drawer. You know those pesky, R.A visits, family visits, and random friends that drop by when you aren’t out yet.

I sat deep in meditation on a Wednesday afternoon, before prepping for a party that night.

Arty and I were in talks. This was the start of a few years work of learning about my dark side – the inner beast, my true self at its most primal- and what that meant for me.

During these days my meditation consisted of a max of 30 mins staring at the flame of a small pillar candle or container candle. This time I was using a  vanilla scented one ( but between us there was a totally non magical purpose, because I really just wanted to make sure that everything smelled nice for the guy that I was seeing).

But it ended up being a good choice because vanilla puts me in a good place, so between that and Arty’s song I was in a deep meditation for close to 2 hours.

Arty had a lesson for me. I was no longer at home, bound by my family, their rules, their religion, their fear. It was time that I learned who I truly was.

There had been glimpses throughs my life in tines of intense need and fear.

Personally I was very accepting of what arty showed me.  I didn’t gully understand it all and it took years to learn as much as I have. It wasn’t until my involvement in BDSM, that I truly understood my Dark side; but one of the things I learned during that meditation is that it’s easier to embrace the Dark if you recognize it as part of who you are. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, it takes time to do that.

Here are some of the things I did to help with recognizing and accepting my Dark side.
-Learning everyone has one
-Learning that it’s not inherently bad
– Learning that their must be balance.That balance isn’t always 50-50 either.

Do you really give thanks to the earth?

Do you have permission of the land?

Think of what you do.

It all involves taking from the earth. It seems rather common place to take without considering what all had to be down to allow you to have what ever material you have obtained.

Home, food, clothing; and that’s just the basics, but what all do they have in common.

Pollution, usurping wildlife from their homes, destroying vegetation, digging into the earth and breaking her apart.

It’s all admittedly something that is apart of human survival to some small degrees, though I don’t believe that the degree in which we do so is necessary. (I’ll stop on that point though and leave that for a more political based post.)We have to do what it takes to thrive, but do we consider petitioning the land for it use and giving back to it.

Many of us are used to the idea of asking first before taking things for magickal purposes,  but do we consider doing it for non-magickal purposes, such as our general survival, or giving back to help sustain and replace what we have taken. Many of us don’t live in a self-sufficient way. We live in cities and can’t do much to completely sustain ourselves, but how many of us seek to do more than say “Thank you”  during rituals at Sabbaths; which those thanks are often directed towards deity that “created” nature rather than nature. Please ignore the agnostic slips.

In my limited experience with other pagans, I’ve noticed that many just take things for granted and don’t give a before or after thought to earth because we take the earth as something that is here for us. I used to be like that till I recognized the symbiotic like relationship between the earth and humans.

But this isn’t as horrible as it sounds. We all lead busy lives, in a society that has made the practice destruction of earth acceptable. Though some changes have been institutes, like recycling and emission programs. Many still need to be able to understand how to help reduce the damage  they create on a regular basis and consider how just asking before hand can affect your relationship with the earth.

I’m going to share some things I have done, still try to do, and as part of my spiritual goal for 2015, renew my pledge to doing these things with vigor. These are all things that I believe help me on my path as a nature based pagan, in some way, mostly in reminding me that it is in fact the earth that sustains us.

  • We currently live in apartment, but this can be applied to houses as well. I have always had this weird quirk. When looking at new apartments I always make contact with the earth (whether by physical touching something, dirt, rocks, plants, even the concrete if that’s all that available). I talk to it. I ask permission to potentially make a home on that plot of land, apologize for any damage that has been done,  and thank the earth for the shelter that has been built.
  • I try to use eco-friendly products.
  • I try to use cruelty free products.
  • I try to do a mostly plant-based diet. I am a lacto ovo vegetarian.
  • I attempt to lessen my carbon footprint in any means available to me.
  • I attempt to be mindful of where our food comes from and how it affects people.
  • I try to reduce processed food consumption in my household.

Please notice that I said “try”. One thing I have learned in this 3 year journey to a less process and more earth friendly life is that you have to do what is in your means, not what you think people expect and eco-friendly earth activist to do. Sometimes finances or time or even crucial needs prevent us from doing certain things. TRY, that’s what counts, doing every little bit is important. Given time and dedication you will receive. Don’t focus on doing things a set way because burn out is a thing.

So in what ways do you give thanks to the earth?

Blessed New Year.




Yule Ritual

Written, but not performed December 2014

Light the God and Goddess candles

The days have steadily grown shorter, the nights longer. After solstice the light will grow again little by little.

Winter is a time of cold winds, of fire that lights our paths and warms us, it is a  time tat water turns to ice and a time when earth sleeps.

We have felt the death of the father, giving strength to the mother for his rebirth.

Light the big candle

The wheel has turned once again. The light shall return gaining strength and warming the earth, preparing her to produce the bounty that sustains us.

Put out the quarter candles in reverse order.  Put out the God and Goddess candles.

Samhain ritual

Written and performed November 2014

Set up a seasonal alter:


Goddess and god candle

Samhain tarot set up

Censor incense- Sage, bay, almond , allspice

Quarter candles

Harvest foods. Root vegetable, Nuts

Light the quarter candles

Tonight we gather to honor the end of the harvest.

We honor the bounty that has been provided, by mother, father and the laborers.

Light the god and goddess candle.

We thank the earth for all that it has provided during the warm season.

Summer is over and we welcome the coming change of season.

Pick up the bread and tear off a small piece, dipping it into the drink.

We honor the spirits, our beloved dead.

We offer you libations in honor of all that you provided life and the knowledge and guidance you provide us from beyond the veil.

We bless those that have walked our paths before us.

Please take a moment to honor those that came before us and to give thanks for all they have done. Please also take this time to acknowledge those that you have known personally who have passed.

We light this candle to guide those who have passed. We welcome those who offer no negativity.

Mabon ritual

Written and performed September 20. Our celebration was also on Hubby’s birthday.

Set up a seasonal alter:


Goddess and god candle

Mabon tarot set up

Censor incense- clove, myrrh, cinnamon, sage

Quarter candles

Light the god and goddess candles

The season changes, the wheel has turned.

The second harvest is upon us, the equinox. It brings about a time to reflect on the bounty the great mother has born.

Take a moment to reflect on the significant things that have happened to you over the past year.

Light the quarter candles

The sun is fading but our hearths are inviting. Our memory of summer will warm us as the days grow colder.

Let us remember those that labored through the season of hard work to provide our bounties and wish them a period of rest.

The time of change is upon us.

May they grant us strength and wisdom through this season.

United in life, slumber, and abundance, blessed be to all.

May their light, shown in sun and moon, shine upon us all.

Pick up the offering plate and move it to the center of the altar.

Lord and Lady, we bless this bread as an offering to you.

Place drink in the center of the offer.

Lord and Lady, we bless this drink as an offering to you.

The mother grows weary, her slumber near. Our father prepares to rise and grace us with his light.

Blessed parents we await your return and wish you well in you slumber.